I forgive you (if you do this and don't do that, and because I am great)

There aren't many things that make me angry. However, on a weekly basis I find myself fed up, frustrated and, dare I say it, angry with buses.

Yes, buses are my one weakness. Almost without fail, I turn up at the bus station at just past 8:30 in the morning, and a bus is supposed to come by 8:40. Whenever that bus is late (like it was this morning), I can feel the bile rise in my throat as I rant and rave at Them – the bus drivers, the bus company, and anyone else who might be responsible – in my head, even once the bus turns up (late) and I arrive at work (late).

The real reason I'm so frustrated is not that the bus service is not delivering what it promises on the timetable, that the bus has made me late for work, or even that the bus has made a whole lot of people late for work, school or uni. No, I am frustrated because I forced myself to get out of bed at 7:30, rushed around getting ready for work, walked very fast to get there on time, and could have had an extra 15 minutes in bed because the bus is 20 minutes late!

So when I get to the second request of the Lord's prayer, 'forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us', it gets me thinking. Why does God tie forgiveness for us with forgiveness from us? More than that, why is the way I forgive linked to the way I'm forgiven ('as' is better translated 'just as' or 'just like')? Isn't Christ dying to allow me to be forgiven enough?

But with a little more exploration, I discovered I was missing the point. Just like the first request in the Lord's prayer, this request is communal – it is 'us' who forgive and are forgiven. 2 Corinthians 5 clearly communicates the communal nature of Christ's sacrifice:

All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. (vs. 18-19)

Jesus, in dying to pay for each of our sins, reconciled us to God. But we are now called to carry that reconciliation to the world, so that everyone might be reconciled to God. The Fall fractured human relationships as well as the Creator-creation relationship: Adam and Eve laid blame on one another, Cain killed Abel, and I hate the buses! Christ's sacrifice mends the Creator-creation relationship so that community relationships can be restored. Forgiveness of those around us is a part of the sacrificial work of Christ!

So I say to my bus 'I forgive you, but don't be late again'. Or maybe, I get on my high horse and say 'I forgive you even though you don't deserve it'. Or perhaps 'I forgive you because I am a martyr'. Or even 'I forgive you but there's no way I'll be able to talk to you ever again'...

Just for the record, I don’t usually talk to my bus! However, it does illustrate the way our sinful natures likes to complicate things somewhat. Forgiveness has many different forms here in the human world. It can be out of arrogance or false humility, or it can be loaded with conditions or bitterness. But by connecting the forgiveness God gives us to our forgiveness of others, Jesus redefines forgiveness as unconditional, in humility and with true love – forgiveness in the same character as the Father’s forgiveness. Philippians 2 gives some insight into this definition:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross! (vs. 5-8)

Christ stepped down from the right hand of the Father and took up an attitude of humility and servitude to us, who had sinned so grievously against Him! And He wasn't merely humbled by death. The phrase 'even death on a cross' reveals that Christ was also humiliated: the cross was the most degrading death available at the hands of the Romans. All of this to forgive His sinful people.

So to take up the message of reconciliation as given to us through Christ, we also take up Christ's definition of forgiveness: a forgiveness which has no care for my status, my pride or my concerns; a forgiveness that is prepared to go as far as humiliation and still remain complete, unconditional and freely given.

Why? Because Christ's glory is reflected in His people when they carry the cross He bore and seek to forgive one another as deeply as He has forgiven them. Because the more we forgive those around us, the more people begin to see the reconciliation work of Christ around them and in them. Because we have been forgiven more deeply than we can fathom for crimes greater than can ever be committed against us.

Jesus, teach me the character Your forgiveness – it’s quality and it’s depth. Replace my many definitions of forgiveness with Your Godly definition, and help me to live out a life of reconciliation, carrying forward the mission You gave me when You forgave me and came to live in me. I pray that I, and the worldwide body of Christ, would grasp the importance of forgiveness to restore community as You originally designed it to be. Through our work of reconciliation carried out in Your power, let Your glory shine brighter and stronger in this fractured and fragmented world, bringing healing and life to those who are living in brokenness and death. And glory be to You for Your incredible work on the cross, which took me as I was, forgave me, and made me Your child! Amen

Banker's bread

How's this for a headline:

BANKERS STRUGGLE AS BONUSES ARE LIMITED TO $500,000

If you're anything like me, you'll read that and scoff at their decadence. With million-dollar salaries and million-dollar bonuses, how can they struggle financially with anything at all? For most of us, it would be a dream come true to have that much money! So they might not be able to live in the very best areas or send their children to the very best private schools anymore, but they are certainly not qualified to "struggle"! Compare them to the low-paid English bank staff who rely on their bonuses to pay the bills, and you see the difference between want and need.

Unfortunately, I must take the log out of my own eye first. You see, like all human beings, I am capable of permanent expansion to encompass any salary into my need-o-meter. I've seen this in me recently, as my husband and I have gotten used to having more and more money. We decided a few weeks ago that I need a laptop. We already have a very good computer, but we both want to use it at the same time, so having a laptop means we can both be on the internet at the same time. Now, having spent some money, we need to save for that distant day when we are ready to buy a house. What does God say about this?

Give us this day our daily bread. (ESV)

The Lord's Prayer certainly does not cater for my concept of needs, let alone those of the bank bosses. All it asks for is bread for today. I think in context it is fair to take 'bread' as a metaphor for the very basic human needs: food, water, clothing and shelter (see Matt 6:25-27). But even with this expansion, I am forced to radically reassess my 'needs'!

Even more radical than basic human needs is the desert principle at work here. When the Israelites were fed by manna in the desert, they were able to collect only enough food for that day. Any saved for the following day would be rotten beyond consumption by morning. The provision for our needs that God promises is on a day-by-day basis (rather than being given our weekly, monthly or yearly bread) – no saving for tomorrow and utter trust as you go to sleep at night that He will provide at daybreak.

I don't think this means that saving for something or buying things we want is wrong. But it does force us to recognise that God provides for our needs every single day, and all extra is an overflow of His blessing.

This recognition is essential for realising the community significance of Jesus' prayer. The Lord's Prayer starts with the word 'our' – a collective possessive pronoun. It is not until we reach the first request that the significance of the communal prayer comes into its own. Asking for daily bread is a group request that depends on each individual's true knowledge of their needs. God will provide, but it requires community to ensure that each person's needs are met.

Especially in this time of worldwide financial difficulty, many families are going to be struggling to pay the rent or mortgage, keep their children clothed, and even afford food. The overflow of blessing that I have been given allows God to provide for others in need through me. This is Acts 2:45 in action: 'Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need'. In other words, harvesting their excess, they provided for each other as a community of believers.

Am I prepared to really see the difference between my needs and my wants? And when I see the incredible excess in which I live, am I prepared to also see the real needs of my brothers and sisters in Christ, and generously give what I have in excess to serve them?

My Father, I am in awe of how much I have, and rejoice in Your generous provision. I ask that You would help me to see what I have with Your eyes, see the need of others with Your heart, and respond to that need with a generosity that reflects Your own. Amen

Your will be (reluctantly) done

I had to make a hard decision last Friday. I'd had a bad week, my husband was out for the evening, I was lonely – and mum suggested going home to them for the weekend. Warmth, conversation, comfort, security – it was everything I felt I needed.

But God said no.

I know why He said no. It's too easy for me to run to my old home when I need to 'leave and cleave'. It was really hard and I didn't like it, but I was (reluctantly) obedient.

It's so easy to think of God's will as a distant, abstract thing, a kind of umbrella over the whole world's activities, or a passive force watching our every action. But God's will actually challenges each and every choice we face – it has a personal, intimate effect on our day-to-day actions.

I've just listened to the teenager opposite me argue with his parents. They want him to stay home and entertain his guests, and he wants to meet up with friends. He is utterly confident that he is without doubt in the right, and that his will shall break theirs! Too often I also think I know what's best for me and expect that God will agree. Isn't it obvious that my family's company is exactly what I should seek when I am lonely?

I think the following well-known passage from Luke 9:23-27 reveal both the difficulties and the glory of doing God's will:

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

The will of God is counter-intuitive. How can it be that in losing my life, I save it? Or that in attempting to save my life, I lose it?!? His will is also personally applicable. To really lay down my life, I must lay down everything I have and hope for. I must give to God my husband, my family, my health, my money, and everything I own – without the certainty of what I wish for being done. He must have them to do as He will with them. I also must lay down my dreams, whether they be about my career, future children, or a big house. And I cannot expect to be given back what I lay down – God's career moves for me may be utterly unexpected and, in the world's eyes, unprofitable! Finally, His will is a daily decision. It is daily that I must lay down my life and take up my cross. In other words, every day must begin, continue and end with the prayer 'Father, what is your will for me today?'. And when He answers, I will be challenged to do things I am not comfortable with, and will be forced to deny myself and become God-centred.

It all doesn't sound very nice – so why bother?

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" (Luke 9:25)

Our true selves are not found in the world of material pleasures and self-service. Even if we had the whole world, we would find we had forfeited something even greater to gain it. You see, the world costs you God – and as you were always intended to live with, in and through Him, buying the world forfeits your source of life. Even Christ was tempted by a worldly path in the desert, but He knew who He was, and so He denied His human desires, and carried His cross.

Do you know who you are? Do you know that you are an heir to God’s kingdom, a child of God? You can run away and die in a pigsty of human making, or you can do God's will, and come alive as you were supposed to be. Like the man who finds the pearl, you can keep your fields and houses, or sell up to buy the most precious treasure in the history of time. This is the trip of surrender - it’s the trip that lasts a lifetime, and it will cost you everything – but you will get everything and more in return.

Lord, it is sometimes painfully difficult to do your will. I find it hard to let go of what I think is right, and accept my own ignorance compared to your complete knowledge. But, Father, I am astonished by your world-wide plan to bring your Kingdom to earth – and your choice to involve me in bringing that plan to fulfilment. Help me sacrifice myself, so that I can truly find myself in you. Amen